Best book on parenthood ever.

I’ve been a fan of Jim Gaffigan ever since I saw this:

I sure do miss Dr Katz.

So, I knew I was going to like my 38th book for the Cannonball Read, Dad Is Fat.  What I didn’t know was how much I was going to love it.

Dad Is Fat is a series of short essays about fatherhood, and they’re all wonderful.  Gaffigan lives in a TWO BEDROOM apartment with his wife, Jeannie, and their FIVE KIDS, and he couldn’t be happier about it.  Sure, they could probably use more space, but they can’t afford it right now.  (It’s weird to think that a celebrety can’t afford something, but NYC rents are ridiculous.)  He really loves his kids, as you can see in the pictures.  It’s strange seeing him smile, as he hardly ever does it in his act.  And he adores his wife and the respect and admiration he has for her jumps off the page.

My favorite essay is “Oh My God, You’re Pregnant”, in which he describes all the different expectations and ideals people have about pregnant women and how unfair they are.

Pregnant women are either too young or too old, or it’s too soon after another pregnancy, or she’s going to get in trouble at work.  She’s too poor, too rich, too successful, too skinny, too fat, too crazy, too busy, too single, too married, to too.

It’s almost as if women just can’t win.  😉

This is a great book for any parent or anyone thinking about becoming a parent.  I highly recommend it.

The movie was better.

My 37th Cannonball Read book, Frozen: The Ice Box, by Courtney Carbone, was another gift my daughter got for her third birthday.  My mother got her an entire box full of Frozen merchandise, including this little box set.  It includes four books, each focused on separate characters.  If you haven’t seen Frozen, there are spoilers.  You have been warned.

• “Anna” tells us that Anna and Elsa “did not always agree”, which is somewhat misleading if you ask me.  Not speaking for a decade or so and then disagreeing on one thing doesn’t really cut it.
• “Elsa” tells the most straightfoward version of the story.  But, that might just be my impression, since I think Elsa should be considered the main protagonist.
• “Kristoff & Sven” really veers into misleading territory.  The last sentence is “an ice curse caused Anna to freeze… …but Kristoff and Sven helped save the day!”  As we all know, Kristoff and Sven certainly did help to save Anna in getting her back to Arendelle, no one is disputing that.  However, after Anna was frozen solid, they didn’t have a chance to help at that point.  This is my biggest sticking point with these books.
• “Olaf” is my favorite of the four books.  It just goes over his character arc without getting into the serious parts of the movie.  Plus, he’s just adorable.

The stories are a bit lacking in detail and character development, however, the illustrations are quite lovely.  I’m a big fan of how the CGI Disney films don’t use the imagery from the movies in their books.  I probably wouldn’t have bought these for my kid, but she definitely likes them.

“That book has potty words in it.”

That is what my stepson said after checking out the book I got for my daughter for her 3rd birthday, The Book With No Pictures by B. J. Novak, which is the 36th book in my Cannonball Read.  He didn’t get “potty words” from me, by the way, we don’t really have a problem with toilet humor (as long as it’s funny that is, just saying words like “fart” over and over is not tolerated, but only because the repetition is annoying).

As soon as I saw it mentioned on Pajiba, I knew I wanted to get this book for my kids.  The point of the book is that adults have to say whatever is on the page when reading to children and therefore attempts to put in the silliest things possible.  Reading to kids is one of my favorite things and I love doing all the voices for the characters and such.  So, I knew I’d enjoy it.  On the other hand, my husband isn’t that much into reading to them and therefore, I can’t wait to hear him read it as well.

I read it to both my kids on my daughter’s birthday.  They both cracked up the entire time.  After reading it to my daughter again just now, she said that it was “silly”, “funny” and made her “laugh all the time”.  She did laugh the whole time, and it was adorable.  I would recommend this book to anyone who likes to get silly, and definitely as a gift for a child with a parent that doesn’t (imagine Ron Swanson reading this to see what I mean).

In case you were wondering, the passage mentioned in the title includes the words “boo boo butt”.

An accidental chance to fulfill a lifelong want.

My 35th book for the Cannonball Read feels like a bit of a cheat.  However, since the RMS Queen Mary Official Souvenir Guide by Roger Hardingham is available on Amazon, it’s doable.  At this late in the game, with 17 books left to go, I’ll take what I can get.

Last year, two of my dear friends were getting married, so I took my two-year-old daughter on the train down to Long Beach to be a part of it.  What I didn’t know until I got down there, was that Long Beach is the home of the RMS Queen Mary.  I’d always wanted to visit the ship, due to the stories about it being haunted.  I’ve long since gotten over my belief in ghosts, but it’s still interesting to me (along with history in general).  So, on a day when my friends had important wedding stuff to do (where my small child and I would just be in the way), we headed off to the aquarium and the ship.  It was everything I dreamed of and more.

I probably should have put in some scary music instead of leaving those dudebros’ conversation.

The souvenir guide, on the other hand, leaves a bit to be desired.  That isn’t entirely surprising, as it was the cheapest book they had for sale (which was why I bought it).  The photos are really nice and the history is adequate (if briefly told), but the writing is sub par and the layout is ugly.  The “check it out” blurbs tend to repeat information given elsewhere in the book instead of providing new facts, which is annoying.  If you can’t make it down to see it in person, I would recommend buying just about any other book on the subject.

“The sky is inevitable. The sky is a foregone conclusion.”

The title is a quote from one of my favorite stories from my 34th book in the Cannonball Read, My Mother She Killed Me, My Father He Ate Me, edited by Kate Bernheimer.  Bernheimer, the founder and editor of the Fairy Tale Review, was inspired to collect many stories inspired by classic fairy tales written by famous authors and the result is this book.  Here are some of my favorites from the collection:

• “A Day in the Life of Half of Rumpelstiltskin”, by Kevin Brockmeier, is based on one ending to the Rumpelstiltskin story, where he stomps so hard in anger after being foiled that he splits himself in two.  Half of Rumpelstiltskin is quite a sympathetic character, working as a mannequin and just trying to go about his business in his strange way.  My title is quoted from this story, when he laments the loss of a tree that he had previously seen as holding up the sky.
• “The Swan Brothers”, by Shelley Jackson, is based on the tale of six brothers turned into swans and their sister having to weave cloaks for them out of nettles to return them to their state.  Told in a convoluted manner and from many points of view, Jackson has the sister using this task as a basis for performance art.  My favorite passage points out the sexism in many fairy tales in that they usually portray women in general as being untrustworthy.
• “What the Conch Shell Sings When the Body is Gone”, by Katherine Vaz, is a melancholy tale of love withered based loosely on “The Little Mermaid”.  This story introduced me to a vaudeville star and actress that I had never heard of, Annette Kellerman.  Kellerman was the 19-teens Esther Williams and popularizer of one piece swimsuits for women.  She was one arrested for wearing one of her suits because it was deemed obscene.
• “The Color Master”, by Aimee Bender, is based on a story I’m not familiar with, but it’s just beautifully written.  I could read it over and over.

There are a few stories I didn’t enjoy, but they were way outnumbered by those I did.  Of course, your mileage may vary.  I recommend this book to anyone who enjoys fairy tales of all types.